The Parenting Series: Working together to overcome favoritism (Pt. 3)

(Part 3 of 3)

“Isaac loved Esau because he enjoyed eating the wild game Esau brought home, but Rebekah loved Jacob.”-Genesis 25:28

Addressing favoritism in our families is so important that God dealt with it in the first book of the Bible. Genesis records that Jacob and Esau, twin brothers, were heavily influenced by parents who were less than even-handed in their relationships with them. 

Esau was the older brother, even if it was only by minutes, so Jewish law conferred the rights of the firstborn upon him. That means when Isaac died, Esau would get a double portion of his estate and become head of the family. 

Because Rebekah loved Jacob more than she loved Esau, she conspired with Jacob to fool Isaac into granting Esau’s birthright to Jacob. The Bible records that the trick worked and Jacob, with the help of his own mother, stole his brother’s birthright. However, there was a definite cost to their deception. 

Favoritism, like Isaac and Rebekah displayed in their family, set the stage for a lot of heartache and bitterness. Esau and Jacob ultimately reconciled their differences, but the Bible also points out that Esau carried a lot of unforgiveness around with him for years. 

The favoritism shown each of those young men spawned a distrust that lasted for decades. It created a sibling rivalry, pitting one against the other and bred  competition between the brothers: 

“Esau saw that Isaac had blessed Jacob and sent him away to Padan Aram to take himself a wife from there, and thatas he blessed him he gave him a charge, saying, “You shall not take a wife from the daughters of Canaan,” and that Jacob had obeyed his father and his mother and had gone to Padan Aram. Also Esau saw that the daughters of Canaan did not please his father Isaac. So Esau went to Ishmael and took Mahalath the daughter of Ishmael, Abraham’s son, the sister of Nebajoth, to be his wife in addition to the wives he had.”-Genesis 28:6-9

Ultimately, it caused an unhealthy pursuit of acceptance. For instance, Isaac dressed up as his brother just to get his father’s blessing and Esau chose a wife from the family of Ishmael in order to gain his mother and father’s acceptance. 

When we play favorites, we position ourselves for disaster by inviting division into our homes and sowing distrust and disloyalty among our family members. 

Pastor Scott Burr

Dayspring Community Church