(Part 2)
“Then He said: “A certain man had two sons. And the younger of them said to his father, ‘Father, give me the portion of goods that falls to me.’ So he divided to them his livelihood.”-Luke 15:11-12
An integral part of empowering our children is learning to release responsibility. In this parable, the father released responsibility of a portion of the inheritance to his son. Doing so, the son was now empowered to manage, steward, and take responsibility for his own livelihood.
(Of course, it is pertinent to point out that what we release is certainly dependent on the maturity level of the child. )
I can tell you from personal experience, that, although I released responsibility to my kids as they grew up; I did not release as much as I should have at the appropriate times. When it came time for them to take responsibility for certain things there was a large learning curve in many areas, because I held on to that responsibility far too long. Things like managing finances, time management, and organizational responsibilities.
To be responsible means to be answerable, or accountable for something within one’s power to control or manage. Most kids like the idea of responsibility, but only in the areas they want it. They want to determine their own curfew, but they are not necessarily interested in folding laundry. That is where leveraging comes in.
To leverage is to use something that you already have in order to achieve something new better. The father in our parable had a degree of leverage, based on his son’s own admission:
“But when he came to himself, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger! I will arise and go to my father, and will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you,”-Luke 15:17-18
The son was prepared to live as a hired hand for a roof over his head and food in his belly. Leverage is not a bad thing, as long as it is used wisely. This can best be done by tying responsibilities together. In order to gain more responsibility in an area a child wants, they must also demonstrate responsibility in other areas as well. For example, coupling cell phone usage with the completion of chores.
However, there is a fine line between leveraging and bribing. We certainly don’t want to appear as rewarding a kid’s rebellion to get them to do what we want. I am not buying my child a bicycle today to get them to clean their room tomorrow. Now, if they clean their room for six months straight and demonstrate they can be responsible, I will honor that with something because they earned it. That is healthy leveraging!
Pastor Scott Burr
Dayspring Community Church
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