“Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy-meditate on these things.”-Philippians 4:8
Who is consuming your time, your thought life, and your energy? We are only given so much of each, so we must spend it wisely. Are we investing our time, thoughts, and energy into our spouse and marriage or are we entertaining or filling that space with others?
Proverbs 23:7 declares, “For as a man thinks in his heart, so is he.”
When we give attention to someone, other than our spouse, we cannot control how they are going to receive or reciprocate that attention. They could internalize it and develop a crush or unhealthy hidden desire for you or they could simply receive it and respond in kind. However they choose to manage the attention, one thing is for certain, there is a chance they could perceive the attention your are affording them as something of value. This attention can lead them to believe that they are significant to you while also communicating an instability and vulnerability in your marriage. This is a dangerous combination in the hands of someone who has no respect for the sanctity of marriage-yours in particular.
Married people must be extremely diligent and mindful to whom they are giving their attention, especially in a work environment where they may work in close proximity to a member of the opposite sex for extended periods of time. It is not uncommon for men and women to develop what are known as work spouses. Work spouses are those individuals we invite a little deeper into our lives, especially areas in which we are struggling; like our marriages. We count them as friends or confidants, however, they are occupying, in part; a space God created solely for your spouse.
Who you give your attention to says a lot about what and who you value!
When it comes to the health and vitality of our marriage relationships, we must be careful about what we are saying about our marriages: verbally, non-verbally, and by who we give our attention. Are we projecting to others that we are committed to our spouse and happy in our marriage?
At the end of the day, the people that surround my life should know that I am married, I love my spouse, and I am committed to my marriage. There should be no confusion that there is no room in my heart, mind, and time for a relationship that would compromise or take away from my marriage!
Pastor Scott Burr
Dayspring Community Church
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