(Part 3 of 3)
“Train up a child in the way they should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.”-Proverbs 22:6
At some point we must move from “This is how its done”, which is modeling, to “This is how you do it”, which is training. We must lead the transition to help our children become less dependent on us parents and more solely dependent on God.
Modeling is great in giving our kids the confidence to know that it can be done, but training empowers them to do it. When God gave Moses the Ten Commandments He gave them some specific instructions about what to do with them. It is obvious that they were to obey them, but God also instructed them to teach them to their children:
“And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”-Deuteronomy 6:6-9
Did you catch that? Commit yourselves to them (modeling) and then repeat them again and again to your children (training). Talk about them as part of your daily life and show them how to apply God’s word in a variety of situations and scenarios. Why? Because what you invest in them is what they will build interest in. We shouldn’t be surprised if we spend five hours a week playing baseball with our kids and only 15 minutes reading God’ word to them; that they begin to see baseball as more important than their faith.
Unfortunately, we, the parents, are the biggest hindrance to our children’s training:
“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.”-Ephesians 6:4
If you want to discourage your child from pursuing Jesus, nothing does it faster than telling them how to live, yet not living it yourself. Our lack of modeling the things we teach will certainly hinder their training.
In addition, our inability to show grace through the growth process can hinder their training. We must be willing to give our kids room to fail. Sometimes we don’t show them enough grace because we are worried about enabling. However, we should not confuse enabling with empowering. Remember that maturity is a process and growing in righteousness takes time. There is no time limitations on training our kids. The book of Titus teaches us that training doesn’t end when they turn 18:
“As for you, Titus, promote the kind of living that reflects wholesome teaching. Teach the older men to exercise self-control, to be worthy of respect, and to live wisely. They must have sound faith and be filled with love and patience. Similarly, teach the older women to live in a way that honors God. They must not slander others or be heavy drinkers. Instead, they should teach others what is good. These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes, to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God. In the same way, encourage the young men to live wisely. And you yourself must be an example to them by doing good works of every kind. Let everything you do reflect the integrity and seriousness of your teaching.”-Titus 2:1-7
Remember we must parent with a goal in mind:
“Our greatest priority as Christian parents is to gradually transfer our children’s dependence away from us until it rests solely on God.”-Craig Groschel.
That begins with modeling and training.
Scott Burr
Dayspring Community Church
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