The Parenting Series: Modeling & Training (Pt.2)

(Part 2 of 3)

“Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.”-1 Corinthians 11:1

As parents we are to model faith for our children. To model means to serve as a standard or example. The Apostle Paul, spiritual father to the early church, often encouraged them to follow his example:

“Brethren, join in following my example,  and note those who so walk, as you have us for a pattern.”-Philippines 3:17

Paul’s instruction, however, would have been nullified in the hearts of those who heard it, if they had not seen it displayed in his life first. This was the same example employed by Jesus, who before taking time to teach His disciples, He first invited them to follow Him. This is what God meant when he wrote in Deuteronomy 4:9 that we are to take heed ourselves, those things we’ve seen and heard, before we can instruct others in it:

“Only take heed to yourself, and diligently keep yourself, lest you forget the things your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. And teach them to your children and your grandchildren.”-Deuteronomy 4:9

Modeling always precedes teaching. We cannot carry a “Do as I say, not as I do” attitude. We must first have made application and be living these principles ourselves. We can’t teach our kids to forgive, if they never see us walk out forgiveness. We can’t teach our kids the importance of tithing, if they never see us tithe. We can’t expect them to stay calm in the midst of a storm, if we fly off the handle at every gust of trouble. If attending church is optional to you, it will likely become optional to them. If you prioritize things ahead of church, so will they. We can model both good and bad behavior. So we must remain conscientious of that. 

You can either to a thermostat or a thermometer. One of them reacts to the temperature in the room, the other sets it. It is the difference between being a visionary parent and a reactionary parent. It’s hard to set the temperature in your home to “peaceful” if you fly off the handle and scream at the top of your lungs every time your kids misbehave. It is even harder to correct that behavior in them when we are the one’s modeling it for them.

The dangerous tendency, however, is to excuse our compromises. When we do, we lay the groundwork for continued compromise in our kids lives as they will continue to build upon the compromises that we’ve allowed or excused in ourselves. It hard to correct bad behavior by simply telling someone to stop. Good behavior/Godly practices must be modeled before we can expect others to accept any training in righteousness that we may offer. 

I read this recently and it made so much sense in this context: “Train up a child in the way they should go, but be sure to go that way yourself.” It doesn’t mean that we have to be perfect, but it should be obvious that living a Godly life is a priority to us as parents.

Pastor Scott Burr

Dayspring Community Church