“Sacred Marriage-Honor & Respect”

(part 1 of 2)

“However, each one of you also must love his wife, as he loves himself, and the wife must RESPECT her husband.”
Ephesians 5:33

“Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with RESPECT…”
1 Peter 3:7

God’s Holy Word has a lot to say about respect! Leviticus tells us to respect our parents and the elderly. Malachi tells us to respect God and His Name. Ephesians 6:5 tells us to respect our masters (employers). Ephesians and 1Peter tell us to respect our spouses. Ultimately, 1 Peter 2:17 sums it up nicely:

“Show proper respect for everyone.”

I don’t think I have ever met anyone who doesn’t want to be respected. Yet, respect in our society and in many of our homes is a rare commodity. Husbands and wives, alike, want to be respected. Therein lies the struggle! When we have people, who live in close relationship, each focused on “receiving” respect, it is inevitable that they are going to hurt one another. Our failure is that we have become so focused on “receiving” it that we have overlooked the two most important aspects of it- gaining it and giving it!

I have found, in my life, that if I am not respected it is usually because I am failing in one of these two areas, both of which are dependent on my response. If I am not respected in my marriage, by my children, or in my community, it is usually not because people are withholding it from me. I am not respected because I have not gained it or given it!

The problem with “gaining it” is that it takes work! How many know it is easier to receive your paycheck that it is to earn it! Respect is gained as we live lives pleasing to the Lord:

“Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.”

1 Thessalonians 4:11-12

Respect is not built on a one-time event but garnered by living a consistent life.
However, this is only half the equation. We also fail to receive respect when it is evident that we do not “give” or “show” it to anyone else. Often, the reason we do not show proper respect is because we have taken on the responsibility of determining who “deserves it”!

Respect is defined as being “deserving” of high regard. The question then is “Who gets to determine who is deserving of it?” Does the person giving it determine who is worthy of it? Does the person wishing to receive it get to determine if they are worthy of it? According to 1 Peter 2:17, God says that everyone should be shown proper respect! This means that our directive to “show respect” is not contingent on what others are doing to earn it!

(This marriage series was developed from principles taken from the book “Sacred Marriage” by author Gary Thomas.)


Pastor Scott Burr
http://faithandworshipseries.blogspot.com