“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
Colossians 3:12-13
There may be no spiritual discipline harder to learn in our Christian walk than the ability to forgive. Even though, it is fundamental in our salvation and at the very root of our faith, forgiveness proves to be difficult to extend to those who have hurt us. Yet, God instructs us to “Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
Over the last couple of weeks we have been exploring how God uses the marriage relationship to build His character in us. We began by looking at love and what love really is. Today we will focus our attention on forgiveness.
Forgiveness, like love, is not an emotion. Forgiveness is an action. An action, that daily, we must choose to exercise. Marriage provides the perfect setting to develop in the discipline of forgiveness.
Sin in marriage (on both the husband’s and wife’s part) is a daily reality, an ongoing struggle that holds many couples in bondage. Those “seemingly perfect people we marry” will eventually hurt us, sometimes even on purpose, making forgiveness a necessity in our marriage relationships.
Forgiveness, simply stated, is to “cancel a debt.” It is to release someone from having to pay what they owe you. Matthew 18:21-35 gives us a vivid picture of forgiveness from this perspective. One day the Apostle Peter came to Jesus and asked him, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-time seven times.”
I think I like this passage so much because it communicates the difficulty of forgiveness right from the beginning. Peter wants to know where the “forgiveness” line is drawn. How many times must I forgive them? If we are honest with ourselves, we all enter into relationships with an idea of how much we are willing to take from this person. If I only see someone once a year at a family reunion, the threshold is set pretty low. Those we love deeply, we will set the threshold a little higher… “Up to seven times!” Even then we limit our forgiveness!
Jesus, however, put no boundaries on His forgiveness. The Apostle Paul wrote in Romans 5:8 that “While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” He chose to forgive us when we at our very worst! When humanity was at its worst…crucifying Him, mocking Him, and despising His very name. He cried out in Luke 23:24: “Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing.”
In marriage, we have the opportunity to see the very best in a person. We also have the opportunity to see the very worst. So we must settle the issue of forgiveness in our hearts right from the beginning. We must choose daily to “Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
(This marriage series was developed from principles taken from the book “Sacred Marriage” by author Gary Thomas.)
Pastor Scott Burr
http://faithandworshipseries.blogspot.com
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