Part 2 of 2
“But now Christ is risen from the dead, and has become the first fruits of those who have fallen asleep.”-1 Corinthians 15:20
What is so significant about an empty tomb? The empty tomb gives us hope for an eternal life! Before we could have any real hope of an eternal future; Christ, Himself, had to demonstrate that He was not bound by death. We could never hope believe in any type of eternal future for ourselves if He had not first demonstrated that He had the power to overcome the grave!
Because of Adam’s sin, we all inherited a sin nature that condemned us to die, but through Christ’s resurrection we have now been made alive:
“For since by man came death, by Man also came the resurrection of the dead. For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ all shall be made alive.”-1 Corinthians 5:21-22
Christ’s resurrection gives us hope for our future! for 1 Thessalonians 4:14-18 declares:
“For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who sleep in Jesus. For this we say to you by the word of the Lord, that we who are alive and remain until the coming of the Lord will by no means precede those who are asleep. For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of an archangel, and with the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And thus we shall always be with the Lord. Therefore comfort one another with these words.
However, the hope we receive from the empty tomb is not just a future hope, it is a living hope. His resurrected life is what gives us strength, hope, encouragement, and power to live day to day. How? By giving us the same spirit that raised Jesus from the dead:
“And if Christ is in you, the body is dead because of sin, but the Spirit is life because of righteousness. But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you.”-Romans 8:10-11
He gives life to our mortal bodies. Billy Graham once said, “The most life-changing truth I have learned as a Christian is the saving life of Christ. We are not only saved by His death but also by His life; meaning the risen Lord lives in us by His Holy Spirit.”
The resurrection assures us that Jesus can transform our lives every day. We live empowered by the presence of jesus to live changed lives. How do I know that Jesus can change a person’s life-because He changed mine! God wants you to experience and know the power of the resurrection:
“That I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death.-Philippians 3:10
We all have doubts, fears, and apprehensions. So did some of Jesus’ closest friends, like Thomas. They walked with Jesus everyday and their world’s were rocked when Jesus was crucified. Their faith had been deflated and their hope emptied. Thomas refused to believe unless he could touch Jesus’ nailed scarred hands. He struggled because the resurrection wasn’t a reality to him yet. Is Jesus’ resurrection a reality to you? Jesus wants you to experience the power of His resurrection and that begins by knowing Him.
Pastor Scott Burr
Dayspring Community Church
Thursday, June 16, 2016
Thursday, June 9, 2016
Empty (Pt.1)
(Part 1 of 2)
“Now on the first day of the week, very early in the morning, they, and certain other women with them, came to the tomb bringing spices they had prepared. But they found the stone rolled away from the tomb. Then they went in and did not find the body of the Lord Jesus.”-Luke 24:1-3
Let’s be honest for a minute, nobody likes to unexpectedly find things empty! Ever been hungry for a bowl of cereal and reach in the refrigerator for a gallon of milk only to find an empty jug? Ever been running late for work and jump in your car only to find the last person to drive it left the needle buried on empty?
Nevertheless, on the first day of the week when the women came to the tomb to anoint the body of Jesus and properly prepare Him for burial; they came upon a scene that greatly perplexed them. The tomb where Jesus laid had been opened and the body of Jesus was no where to be found. When the women returned and told the disciples what they had found, two them, Peter and John, ran to the tomb only to find Jesus’ burial linens inside. Why would two men rush to see an empty tomb?
Did you know that nearly a quarter of a million people each year travel thousands of miles to visit the garden tomb located in Jerusalem. In fact in 2008, my wife and I travelled the 6,359 miles to look inside and we discovered the same thing that Peter and John did. It’s empty! Hundreds of us waited patiently in line, pressing in, to gaze upon a cold stone slab. However, instead of being anxious, annoyed or frustrated; we too were filled with wonder as we considered what that tomb being empty really meant!
What is is so significant about an empty tomb?
The empty tomb removed the sting of death! It is our sin that separates us from the presence of God. Jesus died on Calvary’s Cross to take the penalty for our sin. Our sin is what condemned Jesus to death, however, His resurrection demonstrated that sin was no match for our righteous Savior. The empty tomb released us from the fear of death:
“Because God’s children are human beings-made of flesh and blood-the Son also became flesh and blood. For only as a human being could he die, and only by dying could he break the power of the devil, who had the power of death. Ohly in this way could he set free all who have lived their lives as slaves to the fear of dying.”-Hebrews 2:14-15
People’s greatest concern when facing death is fear of the unknown. Fear is Satan’s greatest weapon. However, when Jesus came out of the tomb, He triumphed over death and the grave:
“I am the living one, I died, but look-I am alive forever and ever! And I hold the keys of death and the grave.”-Revelation 1:18
When we rest securely in Christ there is no fear of death, because Jesus overcame it!
Pastor Scott Burr
Dayspring Community Church
“Now on the first day of the week, very early in the morning, they, and certain other women with them, came to the tomb bringing spices they had prepared. But they found the stone rolled away from the tomb. Then they went in and did not find the body of the Lord Jesus.”-Luke 24:1-3
Let’s be honest for a minute, nobody likes to unexpectedly find things empty! Ever been hungry for a bowl of cereal and reach in the refrigerator for a gallon of milk only to find an empty jug? Ever been running late for work and jump in your car only to find the last person to drive it left the needle buried on empty?
Nevertheless, on the first day of the week when the women came to the tomb to anoint the body of Jesus and properly prepare Him for burial; they came upon a scene that greatly perplexed them. The tomb where Jesus laid had been opened and the body of Jesus was no where to be found. When the women returned and told the disciples what they had found, two them, Peter and John, ran to the tomb only to find Jesus’ burial linens inside. Why would two men rush to see an empty tomb?
Did you know that nearly a quarter of a million people each year travel thousands of miles to visit the garden tomb located in Jerusalem. In fact in 2008, my wife and I travelled the 6,359 miles to look inside and we discovered the same thing that Peter and John did. It’s empty! Hundreds of us waited patiently in line, pressing in, to gaze upon a cold stone slab. However, instead of being anxious, annoyed or frustrated; we too were filled with wonder as we considered what that tomb being empty really meant!
What is is so significant about an empty tomb?
The empty tomb removed the sting of death! It is our sin that separates us from the presence of God. Jesus died on Calvary’s Cross to take the penalty for our sin. Our sin is what condemned Jesus to death, however, His resurrection demonstrated that sin was no match for our righteous Savior. The empty tomb released us from the fear of death:
“Because God’s children are human beings-made of flesh and blood-the Son also became flesh and blood. For only as a human being could he die, and only by dying could he break the power of the devil, who had the power of death. Ohly in this way could he set free all who have lived their lives as slaves to the fear of dying.”-Hebrews 2:14-15
People’s greatest concern when facing death is fear of the unknown. Fear is Satan’s greatest weapon. However, when Jesus came out of the tomb, He triumphed over death and the grave:
“I am the living one, I died, but look-I am alive forever and ever! And I hold the keys of death and the grave.”-Revelation 1:18
When we rest securely in Christ there is no fear of death, because Jesus overcame it!
Pastor Scott Burr
Dayspring Community Church
Concealers, Dealers, & Squealers (Pt.3)
Married Life Series
“Then the man said, “The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I ate.” And the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?” The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”-Genesis 3:12-13
The final personality that can emerge and prove toxic to a marriage is the squealer. Squealers are those individuals who like to point fingers and play the blame game.
The blame game is an attempt to place responsibility on everyone and everything besides ourselves. This is done, in order that we do not have to experience the discomfort of looking at our own faults or responsibilities in any given situation. The blame game empowers us to believe that we don’t need to change and that it is the other person creating all the problems. The destructive consequence of blaming is that is leaves people thinking, feeling and behaving like a victim.
The blame game is as old as Adam and Eve. When God confronts Adam about eating from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil; he blames the woman. When God approaches the woman; she blames the serpent. We see this shifting of blame throughout the scriptures. In Genesis 4:9, we read the account of God confronting Cain about his brother Abel:
“Then the Lord said to Cain, “Where is Abel your brother? He said, “I do not know. Am I my brother’s keeper?”
Although Cain had killed Abel, he was still trying to shift the blame away from himself.
In Matthew 27:24, Pilate is speaking to the crowds that were demanding the death of Jesus. He had found no reason to crucify him but ultimately caved to the unrelenting crowd:
“When Pilate saw that he could not prevail at all, but rather that a tumult was rising, he took water and washed his hands before the multitude, saying, “I am innocent of the blood of this just Person. You see to it.”
Pilate had the authority and power to release Jesus, but chose to hand him over to be crucified. He shirked his responsibility. This type of behavior (shifting responsibility) is not simply wrong, it is sinful. James 4:17 declares:
“Therefore, to him who knows to do good and does not do it, to him it is sin.”
This is especially true in our obligations to our spouse. Ephesians 5 teaches husbands to love their wives and wives to respect their husbands; however neither is ever dependent on the other spouse doing their part. We cannot blame our lack of integrity in subscribing to God’s word on our spouse’s failure to do their part. The Bible is clear that we will each stand before God for what we have done:
“For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive the things done in the body, according what he has done, whether good or bad.”-2 Corinthians 5:10
To pass blame onto our spouse is to show contempt and pass judgment, something we ought to be slow to do considering that we must all give an account before God.
Concealers, Dealers, and Squealers! When any of these personalities begin to emerge in a relationship, you can be certain that trouble is ahead. Perhaps today, you have realized that you have started drifting in one of these directions. If so, you need to come before God today in humility and repentance. You must repent to your spouse and pray for God’s leading and direction in bringing healing to you marriage.
Pastor Scott Burr
Dayspring Community Church
“Then the man said, “The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I ate.” And the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?” The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”-Genesis 3:12-13
The final personality that can emerge and prove toxic to a marriage is the squealer. Squealers are those individuals who like to point fingers and play the blame game.
The blame game is an attempt to place responsibility on everyone and everything besides ourselves. This is done, in order that we do not have to experience the discomfort of looking at our own faults or responsibilities in any given situation. The blame game empowers us to believe that we don’t need to change and that it is the other person creating all the problems. The destructive consequence of blaming is that is leaves people thinking, feeling and behaving like a victim.
The blame game is as old as Adam and Eve. When God confronts Adam about eating from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil; he blames the woman. When God approaches the woman; she blames the serpent. We see this shifting of blame throughout the scriptures. In Genesis 4:9, we read the account of God confronting Cain about his brother Abel:
“Then the Lord said to Cain, “Where is Abel your brother? He said, “I do not know. Am I my brother’s keeper?”
Although Cain had killed Abel, he was still trying to shift the blame away from himself.
In Matthew 27:24, Pilate is speaking to the crowds that were demanding the death of Jesus. He had found no reason to crucify him but ultimately caved to the unrelenting crowd:
“When Pilate saw that he could not prevail at all, but rather that a tumult was rising, he took water and washed his hands before the multitude, saying, “I am innocent of the blood of this just Person. You see to it.”
Pilate had the authority and power to release Jesus, but chose to hand him over to be crucified. He shirked his responsibility. This type of behavior (shifting responsibility) is not simply wrong, it is sinful. James 4:17 declares:
“Therefore, to him who knows to do good and does not do it, to him it is sin.”
This is especially true in our obligations to our spouse. Ephesians 5 teaches husbands to love their wives and wives to respect their husbands; however neither is ever dependent on the other spouse doing their part. We cannot blame our lack of integrity in subscribing to God’s word on our spouse’s failure to do their part. The Bible is clear that we will each stand before God for what we have done:
“For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive the things done in the body, according what he has done, whether good or bad.”-2 Corinthians 5:10
To pass blame onto our spouse is to show contempt and pass judgment, something we ought to be slow to do considering that we must all give an account before God.
Concealers, Dealers, and Squealers! When any of these personalities begin to emerge in a relationship, you can be certain that trouble is ahead. Perhaps today, you have realized that you have started drifting in one of these directions. If so, you need to come before God today in humility and repentance. You must repent to your spouse and pray for God’s leading and direction in bringing healing to you marriage.
Pastor Scott Burr
Dayspring Community Church
Thursday, May 26, 2016
Concealers, Dealers, & Squealers (Pt. 2)
Married Life Series
“Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in the power of your had to do so.”-Proverbs 3:27
When it comes to any relationship, especially our marriages, we must become conscientious of developing a dealer mentality. We are not talking about individuals involved in trafficking narcotics. The spouses I am referring to are more like hostage takers. Hostage takers are individuals who will withhold something from their spouse in order to manipulate a situation to their benefit.
Withholding is typically motivated by two goals: to inflict punishment the other person or to gain the upper hand in a difficult situation or discussion. It is nothing less than strategic manipulation that can manifest in several ways.
One thing that a spouse can withhold in a marriage is communication. Many of us refer to this as the silent treatment. The silent treatment is the act or behavior of withholding communication from our spouse. This method of hostage taking is employed to communicate dissatisfaction with or to punish the individual being ignored. It is a controlling behavior, placing the person doing the withholding, in control over all aspects of the relationship. The relationship will only move forward at their pace following their terms.
Withholding affection is also another way a spouse can take a relationship hostage. Sex can and is often used as a weapon or a bargaining chip in order to obtain a desired outcome. The Apostle Paul warned against this in 1 Corinthians 7:4-5:
“The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive on another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”
Again, when done with malice, this behavior can be destructive to both husband and wife and leave the other vulnerable to temptation.
Another way that spouses attempt to exercise control in their relationship involves cutting off finances. There is a famous quote that reads: “He who holds the purse strings, rules the house, the nation, the world.” This may be well known, but it certainly isn’t biblical. By withholding resources from our spouse we are demonstrating an absolute lack of faith in God:
“But if anyone doe snot provide for his own, and especially for those of his own household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”-1 Timothy 5:8
Finally, one of the most devastating things that a spouse can withhold from the other is forgiveness! To withhold forgiveness is to hold a debt against another person. This is contrary to Jesus’ teaching in Matthew 6:14-15:
“For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”
How can we withhold forgiveness from others, when we ourselves have been forgiven so much?
In every one of these scenarios, there is the potential for manipulation. Because of this we must stay vigilant. When we bargain and deal with other’s emotions, resources, and affections in order to get something we want we are dangerously close to committing spiritual prostitution!
Pastor Scott Burr
Dayspring Community Church
Thursday, May 19, 2016
Concealers, Dealers, & Squealers (Pt.1)
Married Life Series
“If you are filled with light, with no dark corners, then your whole life will be radiant, as though a floodlight were filling you with light.”-Luke 11:36 NLT
Today we want to begin a study about three personalities that can shipwreck a marriage-concealers, dealers, and squealers. When one of these identities emerges in a marriage, you can be certain that the path to a healthy vibrant marriage is going to be plagued with obstacles.
As you read the next several week’s columns, there are going to be some of you that begin diagnosing people you know. However, these are not designed to highlight the already biased flaws we perceive in our others, they are intended to act as a spotlight on our own souls; exposing any dark area that would become a potential barrier to the health of our marriage. The health of our marriage, actually any relationship for that matter, begins with ourselves. It begins by asking God to show us our sin, our shortcomings, and our weaknesses; the dark parts in our hearts:
“Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me, and know my anxieties; And see if there is any wicked way in me, And lead me in the way everlasting.”-Psalm 139:23-24
Our goal is to expose some of these dangerous tendencies that can potentially cripple your relationships. It is important to consider each of these, because the capacity for any of these personalities lies within each of us.
Let’s begin by looking at concealers. No relationship is going to flourish if one or both spouses develop a tendency to conceal the truth. Concealing truth is just a fancy way of packaging a lie. Lying destroys trust! Every relationship, especially a marriage, is built on mutual trust. When a person is caught in a lie, trust quickly erodes, hurting both people in the process. Whether it is keeping secrets or telling a little white lie; lying destroys one of the pillars of a healthy relationship-trust.
So why do people lie? Men and women lie to protect themselves. Many are even convinced that lying is in the interest of the person they are deceiving. Where do lies begin? Lying begins when a person is ashamed of the truth. For many, it is easier to lie than to face confrontation. Other times, being untruthful signals insecurity, perhaps with oneself or within a relationship. Often, we attempt to convince ourselves that we are the only person the lie is hurting, or that it’s only this one time, however that one lie leads to another, then to another to cover it up.
God has some pretty strong words to speak concerning lying:
Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who deal truthfully are His delight.”-Proverbs 12:22.
God is a God of truth, righteousness, and holiness; whereas lying is rooted in deception. Where God is the originator of truth, Satan is the father of lies (John 8:44). So when we lie, we speak the devil’s language; which totally cuts against the grain of God’s Word:
“Therefore, put away lying, ‘Let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor, for we are members of one another.”-Ephesians 4:25.
And in case that isn’t clear enough for you:
“Do not lie to one another, since you have put off the old man with his deeds.”
Blatant deception, white lies, half-truths, withholding informations, and breaking promises all destroy truth in a relationship and diminish a person’s integrity. Jesus said it best in Matthew 5:37, “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes’ and your ‘No’, ‘No”. For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.”
Pastor Scott Burr
Dayspring Community Church
“If you are filled with light, with no dark corners, then your whole life will be radiant, as though a floodlight were filling you with light.”-Luke 11:36 NLT
Today we want to begin a study about three personalities that can shipwreck a marriage-concealers, dealers, and squealers. When one of these identities emerges in a marriage, you can be certain that the path to a healthy vibrant marriage is going to be plagued with obstacles.
As you read the next several week’s columns, there are going to be some of you that begin diagnosing people you know. However, these are not designed to highlight the already biased flaws we perceive in our others, they are intended to act as a spotlight on our own souls; exposing any dark area that would become a potential barrier to the health of our marriage. The health of our marriage, actually any relationship for that matter, begins with ourselves. It begins by asking God to show us our sin, our shortcomings, and our weaknesses; the dark parts in our hearts:
“Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me, and know my anxieties; And see if there is any wicked way in me, And lead me in the way everlasting.”-Psalm 139:23-24
Our goal is to expose some of these dangerous tendencies that can potentially cripple your relationships. It is important to consider each of these, because the capacity for any of these personalities lies within each of us.
Let’s begin by looking at concealers. No relationship is going to flourish if one or both spouses develop a tendency to conceal the truth. Concealing truth is just a fancy way of packaging a lie. Lying destroys trust! Every relationship, especially a marriage, is built on mutual trust. When a person is caught in a lie, trust quickly erodes, hurting both people in the process. Whether it is keeping secrets or telling a little white lie; lying destroys one of the pillars of a healthy relationship-trust.
So why do people lie? Men and women lie to protect themselves. Many are even convinced that lying is in the interest of the person they are deceiving. Where do lies begin? Lying begins when a person is ashamed of the truth. For many, it is easier to lie than to face confrontation. Other times, being untruthful signals insecurity, perhaps with oneself or within a relationship. Often, we attempt to convince ourselves that we are the only person the lie is hurting, or that it’s only this one time, however that one lie leads to another, then to another to cover it up.
God has some pretty strong words to speak concerning lying:
Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who deal truthfully are His delight.”-Proverbs 12:22.
God is a God of truth, righteousness, and holiness; whereas lying is rooted in deception. Where God is the originator of truth, Satan is the father of lies (John 8:44). So when we lie, we speak the devil’s language; which totally cuts against the grain of God’s Word:
“Therefore, put away lying, ‘Let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor, for we are members of one another.”-Ephesians 4:25.
And in case that isn’t clear enough for you:
“Do not lie to one another, since you have put off the old man with his deeds.”
Blatant deception, white lies, half-truths, withholding informations, and breaking promises all destroy truth in a relationship and diminish a person’s integrity. Jesus said it best in Matthew 5:37, “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes’ and your ‘No’, ‘No”. For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.”
Pastor Scott Burr
Dayspring Community Church
Monday, May 9, 2016
What are you saying about your marriage? (Pt. 3)
Married Life Series
“Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy-meditate on these things.”-Philippians 4:8
Who is consuming your time, your thought life, and your energy? We are only given so much of each, so we must spend it wisely. Are we investing our time, thoughts, and energy into our spouse and marriage or are we entertaining or filling that space with others?
Proverbs 23:7 declares, “For as a man thinks in his heart, so is he.”
When we give attention to someone, other than our spouse, we cannot control how they are going to receive or reciprocate that attention. They could internalize it and develop a crush or unhealthy hidden desire for you or they could simply receive it and respond in kind. However they choose to manage the attention, one thing is for certain, there is a chance they could perceive the attention your are affording them as something of value. This attention can lead them to believe that they are significant to you while also communicating an instability and vulnerability in your marriage. This is a dangerous combination in the hands of someone who has no respect for the sanctity of marriage-yours in particular.
Married people must be extremely diligent and mindful to whom they are giving their attention, especially in a work environment where they may work in close proximity to a member of the opposite sex for extended periods of time. It is not uncommon for men and women to develop what are known as work spouses. Work spouses are those individuals we invite a little deeper into our lives, especially areas in which we are struggling; like our marriages. We count them as friends or confidants, however, they are occupying, in part; a space God created solely for your spouse.
Who you give your attention to says a lot about what and who you value!
When it comes to the health and vitality of our marriage relationships, we must be careful about what we are saying about our marriages: verbally, non-verbally, and by who we give our attention. Are we projecting to others that we are committed to our spouse and happy in our marriage?
At the end of the day, the people that surround my life should know that I am married, I love my spouse, and I am committed to my marriage. There should be no confusion that there is no room in my heart, mind, and time for a relationship that would compromise or take away from my marriage!
Pastor Scott Burr
Dayspring Community Church
“Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy-meditate on these things.”-Philippians 4:8
Who is consuming your time, your thought life, and your energy? We are only given so much of each, so we must spend it wisely. Are we investing our time, thoughts, and energy into our spouse and marriage or are we entertaining or filling that space with others?
Proverbs 23:7 declares, “For as a man thinks in his heart, so is he.”
When we give attention to someone, other than our spouse, we cannot control how they are going to receive or reciprocate that attention. They could internalize it and develop a crush or unhealthy hidden desire for you or they could simply receive it and respond in kind. However they choose to manage the attention, one thing is for certain, there is a chance they could perceive the attention your are affording them as something of value. This attention can lead them to believe that they are significant to you while also communicating an instability and vulnerability in your marriage. This is a dangerous combination in the hands of someone who has no respect for the sanctity of marriage-yours in particular.
Married people must be extremely diligent and mindful to whom they are giving their attention, especially in a work environment where they may work in close proximity to a member of the opposite sex for extended periods of time. It is not uncommon for men and women to develop what are known as work spouses. Work spouses are those individuals we invite a little deeper into our lives, especially areas in which we are struggling; like our marriages. We count them as friends or confidants, however, they are occupying, in part; a space God created solely for your spouse.
Who you give your attention to says a lot about what and who you value!
When it comes to the health and vitality of our marriage relationships, we must be careful about what we are saying about our marriages: verbally, non-verbally, and by who we give our attention. Are we projecting to others that we are committed to our spouse and happy in our marriage?
At the end of the day, the people that surround my life should know that I am married, I love my spouse, and I am committed to my marriage. There should be no confusion that there is no room in my heart, mind, and time for a relationship that would compromise or take away from my marriage!
Pastor Scott Burr
Dayspring Community Church
Thursday, May 5, 2016
What are you saying about your marriage? (Pt.2)
(Married Life Series)
“A worthless person, a wicked man, is one who walks with a perverse (corrupt, vulgar) mouth. Who winks with his eyes (in mockery), who shuffles his fee (to signal), who points with his fingers (to give subversive instruction); who perversely in his heart plots trouble and evil continually; who spreads discord and strife.”-Proverbs 6:12-14 (AMP)
This passage is cautioning us to pay attention to people’s body language. Their words may be communicating one message, but their actions and body language are telling a different story. In many cases, what they are saying without words is a better indication of their true intentions than what is proceeding from their mouths.
Body language is a language that is seen and not heard. Like verbal communication it relays a message; however, at times, that message does not seem to line up with what is being expressed verbally. This creates duplicity in our message, something James 3:10-12 cautions us to avoid:
“Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so. Does a spring send forth fresh water and bitter from the same spring? Can a fig tree, my brethren, bear olives, or grapevine bear figs? Thus no spring yields both salt water and fresh.”
We can be sending a very mixed message to people when we claim to be happily married but our body language toward our spouse is sending an entirely different message.
Another important point is that what we fail to speak says a lot about what we value. Spend time with people and listen to what they talk about. Things like sports, trucks, kids, work, and church. What they spend time discussing provides valuable feedback about what they value. However, what they fail to mention can also be construed, by others, to be something they value very little.
Can people tell by looking at your phone or looking at your Facebook page that you are happily married? Or is your page plastered with only pictures of yourself, your hobbies or your kids? What you project can communicate to others what they perceive your priorities to be.
Some people will argue, “Well, at least I’m not sitting around talking ugly about my spouse!” They subscribe to the line of thought made familiar by the little rabbit Thumper in the movie Bambi: “If you can’t say nothing nice, don’t say nothing at all.” However, this can be just as detrimental. If you never speak of your spouse, either in a general sense or in a way that is edifying, you may be communicating to others that your spouse isn’t very important to you.
If we are going to send the right message we must heed Philippians 2:3:
“Let nothing be done through selfish ambitions or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself.”
This type of esteem is not expressed merely with words, but also through our actions and body language; they must all work in conjunction for the proper edification of our spouse.
Pastor Scott Burr
Dayspring Community Church
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